notebooks are saviors. who knew when my mom telling me to "find some use for these damn notebooks" would pay off so well. i've already transcribed some of the scribbles down there, maybe i'll scan them instead of typing them out or something this time, but i doubt anyone could read them, not that anyone does anyway. since draining my mind onto paper, i've begun to become tired, so i think i'll head off now. maybe i'll have a new nightly routine so i might actually gain useful sleep instead of 4 hr naps.

i'm in one of those moods. like i have something to say, but i can't find the words to say it. its in my head, beating on my skull trying to break out, but i just can't seem to express what i'm feeling. oblivion is what i feel. just total lack of sense and feeling. i'm restless, i can't sleep, i have class tomorrow, i'm just in a total sense of blah. i can't find music in my collection that fits how i'm feeling now and its frustrating me. the closest i can get is garbage, but that doesn't really "hit the spot" so to speak. as i'm typing i'm staring into the eye that is my buddy icon. i've used that thing forever and i still find it mesmerizing. soulseek is also frustrating me, people having slow download and others having problems with the files on their end. i wish that i had actually done something this weekend instead of just sitting around and playing games, which was fun, but unproductive. i wish that aimee, jennifer, jillian and kaitlin had made it and given me a reason to actually leave this room that is my home. but it was not to be. i wanted to go to Carburro this weekend to check out some of the shops down there since it's much closer than i though initially, but it rained all freaking weekend and i wasn't up for walking in the rain, especially after being sick almost all of last week with a lovely virus that made me wish for death. i've really been feeling the clawing hands of loneliness this past week. not quite sure why, but its really starting to bug me. maybe i got too used to working around lots of people during christmas or something, but hardly ever talking to anyone is beginning to eat away at me. it might be new classes too, not knowing anyone and such. i'll meet new people soon i'm sure, at least in english. thats the one good guarantee about that class, that i'll be forced to talk and meet new people. i feel like its time for some sort of change, but i'm not sure what needs to be changed. the balance in my life feels off kilter, but i can't figure out whats setting it off balance. i've just been informed by a friend that i need to get laid. probably true.i just had the quickest "debate" ever. lovely when both people agree on something that was supposed to be a debate. i think i might go explore the woods in front of the building tomorrow. there's paths and stuff, but who likes to take paths?. i'll just trek around and explore take my mind off stuff and escape from the world for a while hopefully. i'm never going to be able to live in a big city. i can't stand being that far away from nature and silence. silence is golden here. someone's always up and about talking and making noise, cars going by, sirens, general noise. its horrid, i want my nice quiet countryside again. which unfortunately is becoming more and more populated by city-dwellers and is doomed to become just another part of the city. expansion is the death of silence and peacefulness. people come in, cut down trees, raze the land build houses and populate. then all silence is gone from an area. this is the fate of the entire world, to become entirely devoid of silence. and then people like me will move to the stars and space, where it is impossible for sound to travel for the silence they so crave.

why do people always ask you if you feel different on your birthday? as if you feel different holistically (barring any major trauma) from one 24 hour period to the next. i'm sure in retrospect to a year ago i feel different than i did, not that i really recall what i felt like last year at any given point in time.

so i've lost my thought train. derailed. all the passengers died in the crash. goodnight.

... for getting on my god damned nerves. the music, the people, the family (some of them), the lack of things to do without traveling through 6 hours worth of traffic. Christmas is slowly becoming one of my least favorite times of year which totally sucks because its right in the middle of my favorite season: winter. atleast school is over and i'm "free" now. i'm working 8 hour days, 5 days a week for my dad though, so i don't really have that much free time. its great to be working again though. every thing's starting to come back to me and i'm starting to get used to things. it feels like summer, just with colder temperatures, which i totally prefer. building stuff is so rewarding and interesting, always learning and refining skills that i'll be able to use the rest of my life. its wonderful, productive work.

i've been absorbed into anime. its like my drug. my favorite so far is the Cowboy Bebop series. the plot line is awesome, space bounty hunters and their mishaps along the way. such masterful work and such a great soundtrack to it. the OST is great stuff. lots of Jazz on there. Sa-Cry-ed i finished up lastnight, which was really good. reminds me alot of X-men, certain people developing powers then then government trying to controll them and they fight back of course. good stuff. i'm quite a ways into Rurouni Kenshin, which is set in Japan during the Maji era. samurai's and sword fights, crazy plot line with lots of twists beautifully done. its different than american tv series, more fantastical, more of the stuff i like. i'm glad i explored into this particular region of culture.

tuesday night was amy's birthday party, which i stayed at way too long for my own good, as i had to work the next morning. crappy music (in my humble opinion) was played and danced to by the womenfolk and some of the guys while i sat by the bonfire with some other people, indulging the pyro inside me. i love fires. i finally met aimee's roommates that i've heard so much about which was nice. they were pretty cool, though i didn't talk to them much. one of them liked Dane Cook (Katherine i think) which makes her auto-cool in my book, especially when she can catch a reference from a bit out of a conversation. i'm really not a party person though, so i mostly just talked to Joe (amy's brother), and Tripp and played in the fire. it was a good time and i got some wicked pictures i'll upload once i get a highspeed connection.

hopefully, this week i'll be purchasing and 95 4runner sr5 limited with a newly rebuilt engine for $5000 (really cheap). if this happens, i'll be ecstatic. Dark green exterrior with roof basket and running boards (which i'll probably remove) tan leather interrior which looks to be in really good condition. then i have all the stuff from the slain beast to put on it, cb radio, brush guard, cd player and other oddities i have.

christmas was mediocre, just another few days off of work with annoying family around driving me crazy. luckily they didn't stay long. i slept alot too. my room is perfect for it. i have really thick curtains, so in broad daylight i can close the curtains and have it pitch black in my room, its amazing. for christmas, i got a 6gig Creative Zen Micro mp3 player in Black which totaly rocks, nice insulated bike gloves for winter so my hands don't freeze, lovely wool socks ( i think i have a sock addiction, theyre so great), towels where are handy and nice (remember don't leave home with out one, hitchhiking rule number 1) and soup for school, which will be handy on the weekends because the fucking dining halls are barely open on the weekends. also recieved 250 in cash/checks which will help out the checking account that i need to ballence. overall it was an uneventful christmas and i was bored/annoyed alot, but i got some good stuff outta it. i need to take some pictures of my loot and the tree and some other stuff and post them on flickr.

so yah, thats life for now. its pretty chill, pretty fun, and rather boring in ways. take care all.

i've come to the conclusion that i am going nowhere in life. i have no goals, no ambition, no drive, i'm sick of school, i'm going no where. if this semester has taught me anything it's that i don't belong in a place like this - atleast not now. i'm pretty sure i'm going to end up failing or having D's in most of my classes except english, and i don't really care. i took classes that were beyond my skill level, fell behind at the start and never caught up. this is the first time i've felt utterly and totaly dishearted with something thats supposed to be major like education. i dunno what it is, i just could really give a damn about all this stuff. who fucking cares about all of these worthless classes i'm taking? i'm honestly considering talking to my parents about un-enrolling next semester, going home, taking some classes at the community college, and getting a job. just to get the bullshit classes out of the way and save money at the same time.i don't understand why i'm so dishearted. maybe its my classes and my disdain for this place and what it represents to everyone. i dunno. fuck. i've been beaten. i'm broken. i just don't feel like i'm going anywhere substantial for the first time in a long time. in highschool i had plans, i was going to become a chemist and work for the forensics labs, and now that doesn't appeal to me in the slightest. i dunno what i want to do. computer programming sounds fun and all but can i really pull it off? i have all these questions and no answers and i'm feeling like i'm trapped here. my parents were so proud of me for getting in here and now i've fucked everything up and i want to leave. i know they're going to say "just stick with it" but how can i stick with it when i can't stand anything about the place? i know i'm going to dissappoint my mom. my grades this semester will piss both of them off, but my mom was so proud of me. going to this "prestigious" place. more like a godforsaken hellhole. i've got to do whats right for me, right? it's not like i'm leaving behind anything here. the only real friend i've made is alex and thats just because i've been forced to due to living with the guy. i really wish things had been different. that i'd not been tricked into thinking i was going to be fine since i was in highschool, that ap classes are by no means in anyway similiar to college courses.

i fucked up good didn't i?

I've finally found a use for this utterly worthless class - writing down my thoughts. I've tried time and time before in my free time, but the words just don't seem to come out. I guess I've bottled for so long its just become second-nature. Time to break this habit and open up, though no one will read this. let it be known I dozed off at this point in class
It's 10:41pm. I don't know why I'm doing this. I guess just to clear my head of thought and put this notebook into use. It's a nice notebook. Lather cover, and elastic strap to prevent it from opening and a bookmark ribbon. It's a nice notebook.
Music soothes the unsettled soul. As of late, house/electronica/drum and bass has been calming me. The Postal Service, Daft Punk and other more eclectic bands. Bela Fleck has become a regular also. Check out my Last.fm page for my listening habits
As far as school goes, I'm hating it. Maybe it's because my expectations were too high maybe I'm just not the college type, maybe I rushed into this whole mess before thinking it through. My classes aren't enjoyable - save english, which I only enjoy part of th time. I see chemistry in a much different light now, possibly because I was behind before I ever started. I'm thinking of changing my major due to this new view of the subject, possibly to computer science. I'm a massive geek and I'd love to know how to program at some point, where as with chemistry, it was my high school dream. It seems that high school dreams are much like high school sweethearts - they rarely last. i finally moved into my actual dorm, so classes are a lot closer and i have a lot more room. My desk is a bit crowded, but that's my fault. The rest of the room setup is nice. we have a couple of rugs, some storage space, a lamp, and some other odds and ends. i really like the setup except the lack of chairs, which will soon be fixed.
I guess this brings me to talk about my roomie Alex. Born in Canada, he moved to Buffalo, NY at a young age, the moved to Wilmington, NC, where he lives today. He has an older brother and a younger sister. Taller than I am, leaner and more athletic. He's a german major and is the biggest StarWars freak I've ever met. He pulls quotes formt he movies and applies them to anything. I'm extremely fortunate to get to room with such a chill guy. He's quite arguably the best part of being here.
I feel so disconnected from my family. I feel like I'm missing out on important stuff. My dad killed the first buck he's gotten since he and my brother started hunting. Kinda sad I missed that. I miss working for him too. I really learned a lot this summer and I honestly thin I'd be happier working for him than I currently am at school. I believe that this is where I'll end for the time being. As always, go to My Photo site and check out all the pictures I've taken and leave comments here or on FLickr. Take care all.


"See you later space cowboy..."

so its been a while and alot has happened. i made the trip up to boone. it was simply amazing. exactly what i needed to clear my head and prepare me for the changes ahead. pictures from the trip and the most awesome hike up Grandfather mountain are up on The Photo Site, which i just happened to have upgraded to pro on. much better organization now. so lets see, what else has happened. after i returned from the boone excursion, i worked a few more days, then prepared for the trip to Chapel Hill. i also got the settelment for The Beast. 4grand is what i got for the slain monster, most of which went into paying off the loan i took out through my parents, leaving me approxamately 1.5grand left for another car. its a start atleast. i also have the wages i've earned over the summer, and those help too. the trial for the wreck i had 3 years ago got pushed back again, so no one fucking knows when its going to happen. its insane. im so tired of this shit. fuck the legal system.
so the move up to Chapel Hill went smoothely. arrived here at 10am, got lost looking for the place, finally stopped and asked where we were supposed to be, found out, got there, went to 4 different places looking for the office for my dorm since we got moved around and shit, found out my rooom assignment, moved my stuff in, went and got some essentials, said our goodbyes and parted ways. it took alot longer than what i make it sound like, but it was short simple and sweet once the cogs started turning. i'm getting royally screwed though, as a map i'll attach at the end will show you. classes are alright, i have 8am's all week long, but im done by 2 or earlier most days. i havn't really met anyone other than my room mates, of whom i have 5. the place were staying is really nice. 2 bedroom apartment, 2 bathrooms, a kitchen and a "living room" which is being occupied by 2 of the guys. Tom and Ryan are the frat boy drinkin types and they occupy the living room. Sean and Sam don't come around much as they have friends on north campus whom with they stay the nights and such. Alex, my roommate, is really cool. were on the same page about the drinking and stuff and i guess you could say we're the "quite ones" of the apartment. i don't mind, im just glad i didn't get stuck with one of the frat boys.
music has been my savior as of late. i downloaded some music from a friend, adding to my collection, making it much better. i really wish i had my bass with me. i have what seems to me to be alot of freetime right now and i have little or nothing to do other than to watch tv or messaround online. maybe its because i feel it gives me some sort of valadation also, something to call mine. i dunno, i miss it non-the-less. i feel like such a social outcast up here. no one seems to fit into my particular style of person, atleast none that i've met yet. i'm sure it will get better once i start interacting with people. yah. i dunno. take care all. i'll try and update more often.



thats the map im talkin about.

i can not take credit for the following, but i agree with it fully. props to the spaniard.

It has been five days now. Five days. It will be
another four days before the navy reaches the coastal areas we've seen
blanketing every news report, every major network, every NPR broadcast.
Reporters have been doing the jobs of our pathetic excuse for a
government whom we supply paychecks to with the little money we, middle
and poor Americans, have been able to scrounge up after we attempt to
pay outrageous gas prices, ridiculous health costs, overwhelming energy
bills and ludicrous "taxation without representation."

I don't
think I need to, but I'm going to anyway. 99.9% of all the faces we see
nonstop on the broadcasts. What color are they? The thousands of human
beings we see stranded outside and inside the convention center, the
superdome and on the overpasses...what color are they? Yet, we are to
believe it is their fault and their fault alone that they, poor African
Americans with little to their name as it is, could not evacuate the
lost city of New Orleans. Except there's one key point that has not
been emphasized enough. If you're talking about post-Hurricane Katrina
evacuation (AFTER all hell has already broken loose) then you're
[mostly] talking about free evacuation. But when it counted, when it
meant the most, BEFORE the hurricane....BEFORE thousands have possibly
died in the wake of Mother Nature's horrible wrath, BEFORE feces,
trash, human bodies and God knows what kind of disease running through
the streets alongside Americans...we all know evacuation was anything
but free. You needed a car, gas, supplies, money to possibly rent a
hotel room somewhere safe and/or a rental car if you didn't have a car
in the first place. What does that tell you? Are we to really believe
that the cost of a human life equates to that of 10 gallons of
gasoline? Or the cost of a hotel room a few hundred miles away? Or the
price of a rental car or bus ticket needed to leave? Why were there not
buses streaming into the city the moment ANY hint of New Orleans being
destroyed came about? Buses that COULD have helped some, if not all, of
the refugees/poor Americans leave the city we now see burning and
sinking at the same time into the swamps of Lousiana...

And yet,
20 countries have offered aid, help, anything to assist us when it is
CLEAR we need it. But no. Our government has denied those calls. Pride?
Greed? Who knows as this point. But the issue is that our government
has turned away the help we most desperately need right now. And we've
watched The Three Satans, that's what I'm calling them, come on
national television for the chance to show some of that "compassion"
they love to thump for the thousands of dying, elderly, ill and
children that have been abandoned by their government for a week or
longer. But what was their main point they drove home during that
chance? They will do all in their power to make sure the oil companies
have their product to whore to the consumers who have continued feeding
these companies their record BILLIONS in profits the last 5 years.
Hardly a mention of those we have seen dead, laying in the streets and
sidewalks as if they were no more than the garbage that litters the
ground all around them. Human bodies are being marked with yellow flags
like some damaged pipeline. Why? They are simply not priority right
now. Priority is supposed to be those still living who are now dying by
the minute, by the hour, by the day. But we are now seeing that
priority is just as unimportant to this government as those being
marked by plastic and wire.

And in the midst of all this chaos,
the mayor of New Orleans himself, has been striking out at the Feds
saying they are "thinking small" in the face of one of our country's
worst disasters in our entire history. Nagin has shown disgust in the
federal response with remarks such as "I keep hearing that it's coming.
This is coming. That is coming. My answer to that is B.S. Where is the
beef?" He continues, "They're feeding the people a line of bull, and
they are spinning and people are dying." With all due respect, sir,
your response team is either on their way from or are still in a
country thousands of miles away.

Listen to him.

A
major flood or intense hurricane in New Orleans was credited by FEMA
itself in 2001 as one of the worst possible scenarios this country
could face, alongside a major terrorist attack in New York City. But we
now see that even 4 years of time to prepare for such an event plus the
known increase in hurricane activity the last decade seemingly had
absolutely no effect on that readiness. We are still relying on decades
old transportation and communication infrastructure. The levees
responsible for the majority of destruction in New Orleans were not
strengthened for the possibility of such a catastrophe. 4 years to
prepare. Nothing.

Now this.

The majority of New Orleans
police have turned in their badges at this point because they fear for
their safety. The rest are barricading themselves at the top of
buildings, armed with semi-automatic rifles, to ride out the nights for
fear that riots are on the verge of breaking out. They are not allowed
to eat in public for fear of the same thing. The governor of Louisiana
has now given the order of Shoot To Kill when they enter the city of
New Orleans. Shoot To Kill. Americans. People who ask for the basic
neccessities of life. People begging for those neccessities. PEOPLE
DYING FOR THOSE NECCESSITIES ON AND IN AMERICAN BUILDINGS AND HIGHWAYS.

Martial
law is coming. And not just in New Orleans. Remember it only took one
black man having his ass kicked on national television by law
enforcement to start the L.A. Riots. New Orleans is just the test case.
You better bet your asses they're taking notes.

Think, people.
Think about what is happening to your own country right now. This is
not Somalia. This is not Darfur. This is not Iraq. This is not the
Israeli or Palestinian front. This is our country, on its knees,
begging for the help we've seen it exercise at the blink of an eye
thousands of miles away on one simple executive order. And yet, here at
home, we can't seem to do a damn thing about a crisis in one of our own
major American cities. I've heard a good friend tell me we've watched
that city go from one of our biggest cultural hotspots to a third world
country in less than 48 hours. Sadly, I must agree.

This is not
our country. I am tired. I am frustrated. And I cannot fight this fight
alone. But remember, Bush & Co. are doing all they can to make sure
you don't have to pay too much for gasoline at the pumps...

We, the people.

Remember that.

the beast is offically dead now. i stripped it down and took all the parts i wanted and left the mangled carrion for the vultures that call themselves insurance workers. one of the saddest things i've done was tearing that thing apart. and of course it was raining the entire time i was doing it, so by the end i was soaken wet. i truely miss that truck. it's been such good off-roading weather around here lately and so many new places have developed to the point that its safe to go in them, it's not fair, it's like i'm being taunted.

and ya know what's really fucked up? the fact that for all the crazy shit i've pulled and how recklessly i drive normally, i've never gotten into a wreck, been pulled over, or anything besides close calls. and those wern't even that bad. but the time's i've been minding my own business,actually going the speed limit, paying attention, etc, i've been in 2 wrecks. and what's even more fucked up is that both of them occured on the 22nd day of the month. the first, March 22nd, and this one, July 22nd. both were 4runners, and both wrecks wern't my fault. it's water under the bridge now, but im still sore i lost my truck. maybe i'll have better luck next time. you know what they say - third time's the charm, so this time, i'm either going to have really good luck and keep my next 4Runner forever, or i'll get in another wreck and die. i'm taking bets, you have a 50-50 chance, get in on this action!


the slain beast. there's more pics on the photo site (just click the picture)

monday i went to warped tour and it fuckin rocked. i have pictures of some of the bands and other stuff going on, but i havn't uploaded them to flickr yet, so you're gonna have to wait. Ethan's band kicked ass though. they won the battle of the warped tour at treamont and go to play on the hot topic stage. the sound was so horrid, but they had fun and people seemed to be into them, so that was good. Zao, Hopesfall, and Thrice were all awesome as hell, and i can't recall off the top of my head who else i saw. it was alot of fun though. it was really hot, (and so were the women) but then it started to rain like a mother, and everyone got soaked pretty much, (and the women got hotter.) but after the rain i was afraid i was gonna fuck up my camera by getting it wet accidentally, so i left. i got there at 11:30 and left at 7:45. full day, fun stuff, great bands, hot chicks... downside, sunburnt face. the only part of me that got burnt at all. and i used the same sunblock on all of me. i dont understand. the worse part is the part in my hair. it hurts so fucking bad.

i'm getting increasingly annoyed with everyone and everything that has to do with my life right now. my parents are getting on my fucking nerves so bad. i really can't wait to get away from them. seriously. i need to get away from them and have some fun before that. hopefully if things go my way, i'll be going to boone next week. but everyone knows how things go for me - bad. i just want some time off where i'm not working my ass off and being too tired to do anything afterward. hell, i don't know what i'd do with the free time though. most of the people i've been hanging around with for the past year are starting to piss me off too. i need some new friends better adjusted to my style of life instead of goodie goodie kids who get angry if you call them the wrong thing. fuck. i've wanted to blow up the fucking world the past 2 weeks. so fucking frustrated with everything. not even college can make some things better.

college. man am i getting fucked over by them. this is an actual email sent to me by the college:

Cobb Residence Hall Renovation





I
am writing to share an update about move-in arrangements in Cobb
Residence Hall.  Student rooms and bathrooms on all four floors of the
building will not be ready for occupancy when the residence halls open
at 9 a.m. Saturday, August 27, and other temporary accommodations in
campus housing have been arranged for you. This email will provide you
with information to help you prepare for your arrival to campus.  We
apologize for this inconvenience and are working with the contractor to
complete the work as quickly as possible.



Construction Overview

Cobb
residence hall is undergoing a complete renovation which includes the
installation of a sprinkler system and air conditioning, new fire alarm
system, replacement of electrical, plumbing, and telecommunications
systems, and architectural upgrades.  Work started after commencement
in May 2004 and the current contractual completion date is August 6;
however, the contractor is behind schedule.  Student rooms and
bathrooms on all four floors, the basement (including the laundry
room), the new pavilion (including elevator access), and the
lounge/office spaces on the first floor are expected to be under
construction until approximately October.



Temporary Accommodations in Campus Housing

Students
with room assignments in Cobb will be temporarily accommodated in on-
campus apartments located on south campus along Mason Farm Road. 
Temporary accommodations will feature six students sharing a
two-bedroom apartment or four students sharing a one-bedroom unit, and
we will keep you together with your current roommate assignment.  All
beds and desks are provided with one dresser for every two students. 
The Mason Farm apartments are in close proximity to the Kenan-Flagler
Business School, and pedestrian walkways and university bus
transportation is available.  Housing and Residential Education will
provide moving assistance for students back to Cobb once the hall is
ready for occupancy.  Residents assigned to Cobb are encouraged to pack
lightly to minimize the amount of belongings they bring into their
temporary accommodation.  A link with more information about the
apartments is available at http://housing.unc.edu/communities/sfh/index.html.



Housing
and Residential Education will provide moving assistance for students
back to Cobb once the hall is ready for occupancy.  Additional move-in
details and specific apartment assignments will be communicated in the
next communication update scheduled for Wednesday, August 10.



Communication Updates from Housing and Residential Education

This
message is the first step in an effort to keep you informed as we
prepare for your arrival.  As more information becomes available, we
will post weekly updates to the “This Just In” section of our website
at http://housing.unc.edu at a link titled “Cobb Renovation Update.” More frequent updates will occur as new information becomes available.


Contact Us
We
invite you to contact us at 919.962.5406 if you have any questions
prior to your arrival or by email at housing@unc.edu.  Once you arrive
on campus, our staff will provide frequent updates regarding the status
of the renovation.  Thank you for your patience and we are looking
forward to seeing you in Chapel Hill.



Sincerely,





Christopher A. Payne, Ph.D.

Associate Vice Chancellor for Student Affairs

The University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill

yah. so. i'm getting fucked. but then i got this:

Greetings from the Department of Housing and Residential Education.  In
an effort to provide the residents of Cobb residence hall with as much
information as soon as it is available, we provide the following update
to the email communication that was sent on Thursday, August 4. 
Additional details will be communicated on Wednesday, August 10.



Thank you.



Rick Bradley

Housing and Residential Education





Alternative Accommodations

 
  * Students will be temporarily located to the newly completed student
family housing apartments, located on Baity Hill, off of Mason Farm
Road, along the southern edge of the campus.  The three buildings being
used are behind Hinton James residence hall and to the side of the Dean
Smith Center.

    * The apartments are of sufficient size to
temporarily and comfortably accommodate four students in a one bedroom
apartment, and six students in a two bedroom apartment.
    * This
is a temporary arrangement to accommodate the delay with the Cobb
renovation.  Once Cobb is available for occupancy, undergraduates will
be moved and apartments will again be available for student families.



Amenities

    * Each apartment is equipped with a kitchen (including refrigerator and stove) and dining area, and one or two bathrooms.
    * Phone service, internet access and cable television, as in the residence halls, will be available.
    * Additional data ports will allow for each student to have network activity.
 
  * Each student will have one bed, one desk, and one desk chair.  Two
students will share a dresser (similar to what is provided in many of
our residence halls). One closet for every two students is also
available for hanging items and storage.
    * All apartments are air conditioned, and have elevator access, fire alarm and sprinkler systems, and are carpeted.
    * Each apartment building contains some common area space and laundry.
    * A separate office for Cobb residents will be located on-site.
 
  * Resident Advisor staff will be assigned to these temporary
accommodations.  The Cobb Community Director (full-time, post master’s
degree administrator) and Community Coordinator (part-time graduate
student) will oversee the community.


Assignments
·     
  Baity Hill assignments will be made in the same order of room
assignment in Cobb. Roommates will be paired, and the community, once
relocated back to Cobb, will essentially be the same.
·        Students will be provided assignment information for their temporary assignment in the August 10 communication update.
Mail Service
·        In order to avoid having to change addresses, residents will use their Cobb room assignment for their mailing address.
· 
      Housing and Residential Education will arrange to have mail
delivered to the Baity Hill apartments, where students will have a
mailbox.

Phone Service
·        Unlike mail service,
residents will be provided a phone number for Baity Hill that differs
from the phone number associated with their room assignment in Cobb.
·        All services contracted through UNC Student Telephone Services will be available at the Baity Hill location.
Transportation

 
  * Baity Hill is within walking distance to the campus, approximately
three minutes further than Hinton James residence hall on the south
campus.
    * The campus bus line is available at Family Practice
Center on Manning Drive, along Skipper Bowles Drive near the Smith
Center, and along Mason Farm Road near the hospital at East Drive.

Move In

 
  * Students may begin moving into their assignments on Baity Hill
beginning Saturday, August 27th at 9:00 a.m. according to the move-in
schedule which is outlined in the Moving to Carolina brochure.  This
brochure is available on the front page of the Housing and Residential
Education website at http://housing.unc.edu.
 
  * Students involved with Orientation (CTOPS, TSOPS), Pre-O, freshmen
camp, or other University sponsored program will be sent, by separate
email, information regarding early check-in. Due to the need to move
furniture, students not provided a separate email confirmation of early
arrival cannot move in earlier than Saturday.
    * Directions and parking information will be provided in advance of arrival.



Relocation Back to Cobb

 
  * Once the facility is ready, students will be moved back to Cobb.
The move will be made in stages, to accommodate the moving of furniture
as well.
    * Movers will assist residents with transporting belongings.



Rent Adjustment

 
  * Students will receive a rent credit equivalent to one half of the
prorated room rent while located in Baity Hill.  This credit will be
applied directly to the student’s account after their relocation back
to Cobb has occurred.

Communications

    * An email
message was sent to all students assigned to Cobb on Thursday, August
4, 2005.  The email notified students of the delay and plans for
temporary housing arrangements.
    * A follow-up email was sent Friday, August 5th, providing additional details.
    * Prior to fall opening, students will be kept informed of any changes in the current situation.
      Information will be provided via email, and frequent updates as needed on the department’s website at http://housing.unc.edu.



Miscellaneous

    * PRE-ORDERED CARPETS

If desired, pre-ordered carpeting through RHA will be temporarily stored for the resident until the move back to Cobb.

    * PACKING LIGHT

Students
are being asked, if at all possible, to pack light. This is
particularly true of students who live within two to three hours from
campus. The apartments do have sufficient storage space, but whatever
is moved into Baity Hill must again be moved back to Cobb.

    * CONTRACT CANCELLATION

If
a resident of Cobb wishes to cancel his or her contract, prior to
move-in, due to these circumstances, there will be no cancellation
penalty. The Assignments Office must be notified in writing or by email
at housing@unc.edu. 

so atleast i'm getting reimbursed. but guess what, its the 10th today and no fucking email yet. bah. fuck everything.

so yah, now you know how my life's been and what's ahead for me. atleast for the moment.

and as a closing remark, i would like all of you to turn to your left, tip your hats, and tell the person you are looking at to fuck off.

I was having a wonderful day today. Work was interesting; I was learning new tasks and perfecting skills. I’ve been tired since I got back from Chapel Hill, but I woke up shortly after I got to work. Everything was wonderful. Interesting, I wasn’t bored, time passed quickly. Soon enough it was time to go home, so I packed up my tools, headed to my truck and started my journey home. I take a shortcut through some back roads to avoid traffic on providence. I do this everyday, nothing out of the normal. Traveling down Crane Road, passing by my old employer’s house, thinking of all the stuff going to happen soon, college and such, listening to “A Boy Named Goo” by The Goo Goo Dolls. I start to take the turn I’ve taken a million times before, only this time it was different. I knew damn good and well that people tended to take the curve too fast, but I never expected to pay for their stupidity.

At approximately 3:55pm, Friday, July 22, 2005, my 1991 Toyota 4Runner SR5 was destroyed by the driver of a black Dodge Ram taking a curve too fast.

I saw it coming. I didn’t have time to react. I swerved, but not enough. The impact started when the Ram took out my Driver’s side, side-view mirror, scraping along the driver’s door, finally catching at the driver’s side back door and wheel-well. The impact smashed the driver’s side back door completely and sheered bolts and welds holding the rear axle to the frame of my precious truck. The drive shaft was also ripped from the transmission and transmission fluid sickly flooded and trickled along the ground like blood. Damn all idiot drivers.

But look on the Brightside; I don’t have to worry about having a car next year at Carolina now. More on that experience later.

Things have been interesting normal, as of late. last week was rather busy though. tuesday was the regular volleyball games. we played for a while even though the court had a small pond in the middle. fun times there till everyone got tired and started playing board games, which i wasn't too enthralled with. i ended up leaving for home. i don't think anyone cared, i don't really fit in anyhow. thursday was rather awesome. went to Kim's house and played tried to play capture the flag in the woods. the woods are massive, swampy, and treacherous. no one really knew their way around and it was quite lame, so Jo and i started wandering off on our own and searching for the famed island in the woods. we found it, but were unable to gain entry to the fortified place mainly because of the bridges (fallen trees) being washed away. one looked sturdy from afar, but we were not able to reach it. after i got us lost, Jo led us back on the right path. while traveling up an incline toward a house/driveway, we heard a small chirp. we searched the ground before us to find a raccoon about 5 feet in front of us. it let out a low guttural grow and charged the 2 of us. luckily, we had picked up walking sticks, and Jo happened to have 2 of them that he used to scissor pinch the devil-beast's head long enough to stun it somewhat (it backed away) so we could run like little girls. scary fucking little thing. Photos from the adventure are posted on my photo site, unfortunately, none of the raccoon. after we made it back to Kim's house and sat around for a while, we went over to the JAARS soccer fields to play again (good memories of offroading exist in those fields) only to decide to instead play volleyball. the courts were much drier this time, but jeans that are wet and muddy do not make good sport apparrel. i think we lost every game, but i was playing with noobs, though we tried our best. it was fun and we played till 11-ish. work the next day was horrid. waking up thismorning was even worse. i pushed myself past the brink of exhaustion again, and i'm paying for it. my body feels like its been hit by a mac truck. so sore. changed the oil in the Beast today and plans to rotate the tires tomarrow before work. that should be a chore. tomarrow will be my last day at KB supposedly. im not sad, im not happy, im rather indifferent. i'll miss my co-workers, but the job really lost its glammor. the idocy of the management higher up in the company is astounding. now, i go back to creating pictures. take care all.

*June 27, 2005*
thunderstorms are the greatest spectacle that nature gives and the greatest weather condition in my opinion. i love driving down the highway, watching the oncomming storm and the bolts of lightning brighten the sky with magnificent power. an unharnessable power, one that creates such beauty and destruction simultaneously. astonishing.

the thunderstorm really made my day. what a crappy monday. didn't want to get up, didn't sleep well because of indigestion, work has been the same thing the past few days, scrape walls, sand walls, paint walls with killz (sealer). i got to frame celings the other day, that was interesting. monotany is not my friend, but atleast im staying busy. i've decided i need to hang out with friends more and do more fun stuff. problem is, i dont have many friends and they are busy, so i end up hanging out by my self. i went to the movies alone for the first time ever the other night. which made the movie even worse. i dont care what anyone says, SW3:ROTS isn't that great.

---

*June 28, 2005*

volleyball is one of the most wonderful sports known to man. i can't wait to get into more competitative games at Chapel Hill. we played in the wettest sand i've played in, there were literally puddles in the court. what great fun it was. it rained all day here. work was interesting, learning how to frame a temporary wall/celing. i'm learning so much. i also found out today that im rooming with a sophomore next year. strange things going on in Chapel Hill. i get a good, newly rennovated dorm, on north campus (considered the better of the campuses) and im living with a sophomore my freshman year. i hope they didn't screw up. im rather tired from work, so bed it is for me. take care all.

Strange how i shift in and out of moods. one week i dont want to see anyone, the next, i dont want to be alone. the problem is, i dont have any friends really. i've either just pushed them away to the point they dont try, or i can't readily get intouch with them. i feer i have few actual friends left. and the ones i do, i can't keep in good contact with or don't see. i need to visit more people out of town. well, one person. i dunno. i've lost touch with many friends. its kinda getting to me.

i've started talking to my room mate for next year. Alex is his name. he seems like a decent guy. we'll see. orientation's in a few weeks. not so excited about that other than getting my laptop. looking foreward to the laptop.

as of July 16th, im leaving along with the rest of the crew that works with me at KB Toys. new manager ran all of us off pretty much. non of us like him and he's one of theose by the books straight people that will rat your ass out in a heartbeat. so if anyone wants to hang on weekends, i'll be free as of then.

i had more to say earlier, but i can't think right now. more later maybe.

one week into working construction. one long rough week. 10 hr days, monday through thursday driving over 100 miles per day, 1hour 10 min ride to work and one hour 40 min ride home because of fucking traffic. that puts me leaving at 5:40 am and not getting home till 7pm mon-thurs last week. this week, thankfully, im working closer to home, unfortunately, its 8 hr days instead of 10 hr days, which means no free friday, but in return, i get shorter days, thereby giving me a chance to do something (or nothing) after work. all in all, i enjoy it greatly. it fills my days with something worthwhile which makes the time pass quicker and i am learning new stuff that can be used later in life. i get 40 hrs a week there and then whatever im scheduled for Saturday and Sunday at the Toystore still. basically its pocket money, but i still get good hours. 15 hrs in 2 days isn't bad at all right? so im pulling about 50+ hrs a week. tiring, yes, but what else do i have to do. i really dont have friends to hangout with, no girlfriend to worry about this summer, just me doing what i do best, mindless drudgery.

if anyone knows any good sites to get parts for offroad vehicles, specifically a roof basket/rack and a CB antenna bracket, a link would be much appreciated.

in other news, everyone should joing over at The Confundo and post lots. its a really cool web community. beware the BLJ though... he's a bit bastardly. new photo's up at the photosite also. and everyone should come to Tremont friday night for the CD release party. my bro's playing with his band and theyre pretty damn good. take care all. later.

god my fucking head hurts. i dont exactly know why, but its killin me. my knee is kinda bum today too. i think its the rain. anyhow, i start working for my dad again monday and im uber stoked. working construction last summer was majorly rewarding and fun sometimes, and this year is going to be even better because i'll actually be able to do odd-jobs instead of just cleanup! wooot! finally being graduated from highschool is also a relief in ways, as it kinda solidified actually going to college. which brings me to a rant. my parents have been bugging the living hell outt me to sign up for orientation, which i hadn't done because things are up in the air for a long time as far as i know, so i finally did it last night, july 18 and 19. so i walk in the house today after taking the trash out, and my mom says, "kevin, when did you sign up for orientation?" "july 18 and 19 i think, i dont really remember." "was it available the next week? the 25 and 26? ethan's going to be on tour the week you signed up and pop might be in pennsylvania, so brendan won't have anywhere to stay." "i guess. its $15 to change it though (its alredy costing almost 300 for the 3 of us to go, which is totaly unfucking believeable and worthless, i dont need my parents there to walk me through everything) "ok, i if pop is going to go out of town, then we'll have to change it." "fine, whatever." i cant fucking believe that. they bitch at me to do it, the one fucking day later she might make me change it!?! one of the reasons i stated not signing up for it was because i didn't know when ethan was going on tour. this is total fucking bullshit. </rant>

ok, now that thats over with, i can go on about other stuff. i went shopping with my dad on monday because we thought that the trial for my wreck that happened over 2 fucking year ago was going to be this week, but alas, it was not to be. no trial, but i did get some nice t-shirts and some pants out of the ordeal. today i went and bought "Wiretap Scars" by Sparta. great CD. i havn't gotten through the whole thing yet, but what i've gotten through was wicked awesome. i've found a new online obsession also:Questionable Content is a webcomic i stubled upon using the StumbleUpon FireFox extension. maybe its only funny to me because i understand most of what theyre talking about, but the damn thing is great. everyone should go check it out. i posted more pics on my Photo Site so you should check those out too. so thats about all i can muster for the time being, everyone take care and such. later.

this comic is hilarious. everyone go here and read them all.

im graduated.

last day of highschool for me today. as i walked through the halls, i had no remorse, no regret about leaving the hellhole behind, starting new, leaving the countless people i despised. then i went to phaneuf's room, the usual 4th period hangout. it kinda hit me then. i wouldn't see much of the people in that room with me anymore. quite sad actually. Amiee, Crystal, Kaitlin, Alex, Andrew, Kim... no, not Kim, ill see her still, if im lucky. the only thing ill miss will be my friends. not the acquaintences that i dont really care about, not the people that i've said "hi" to once, the ones that i've had classes with all 4 years, the ones i've eaten lunch with, especially this semesters lunch group. quite possibly some of the most fun times i've had at that prison-like place were with them, playing cards for endless days upon end during lunch. but then again, who's to say it wont happen next year at chapel hill? Kim's going to be there, so are other people i like, i doubt any of them will have anything to do with me unless they want a ride somewhere, that is, if i can get ahold of a parking space. i guess the only thing i can do it take it day by day choosing my path as the crossroads come.

i've just had one of the most interesting conversations i believe i've ever partaken in. AP government is one of the greatest classes in the entire world, and if anyone who reads this has the chance to take it, DO IT, you won't regret it. it leads to wonderful conversations like the following:

Kim: i'm back to let you know...
Kim: i'm going to fail this debate
Skullbasher62: nah
Skullbasher62: you'll do fine
Skullbasher62: it's easy to argue against privatization
Kim: why don't you like it?
Skullbasher62: because you can't trust people to actually use the cash for what its ment for
Skullbasher62: why do you think the gov't takes taxes outta people's paychecks
Skullbasher62: because they dont trust them enough to pay up at the end of the year
Skullbasher62: and how many people don't file their taxes in the US and dont get caught?
Skullbasher62: lots
Kim: but it's giving the govt too much control. this just slowly puts money back into the people's hands
Kim: we may actually see some of our money again
Skullbasher62: but can you trust the people?
Kim: instead of having the system go bankrupt
Kim: basically you're just asking if you can trust yourself
Skullbasher62: i know i can't trust myself
Kim: i think i'll be better off keeping my own money instead of paying a ton and only seeing a little back
Skullbasher62: but will everyone?
Skullbasher62: like drunkards
Skullbasher62: if they have more money on their paychecks
Kim: do they make any money to put into social security? do they deserve to get any out of it?
Kim: i mean, they will stil lbe getting some out of it.
Skullbasher62: theyre just going to spend it on getting more boozed up instead of creating a nestegg to retire on
Kim: and it's up to them to decide when they most need their money
Kim: yeah, but why give the government the power over somebody like that? it may be a good thing for poor drunkards, but is it worth it just for them?
Skullbasher62: i worked with plenty of guys who would go and get totaly wasted after they got their paychecks last summer because they had nothing else to spend it on
Skullbasher62: and at the end of the year, they wouldn't have any cash to pay taxes with because they spent it all
Skullbasher62: you must think of the general population instead of the few who can be trusted
Kim: well they wouldn't actually see the money, it would go into stocks. it's not like hard cash coming back
Skullbasher62: the stock market can crash
Skullbasher62: great depression ring a bell?
Skullbasher62: the plumit after 9-11
Skullbasher62: the stock market isn't a sure thing
Kim: yes, but doesn't it generally go upwards? it's better than not inflating at all
Kim: and it won't be all their life savings, it's only part of it
Skullbasher62: not necessairly
Skullbasher62: the market fluxuates
Kim: in the last 20 years has it gone up or down overall?
Skullbasher62: plus it all depends on what stock you have
Skullbasher62: like if someone had their savings invested in enron before it tanked, thought they were secure, then the fraud came out and they lost most if not all of it
Skullbasher62: they'd be screwed
Kim: but you put it in different ones, you won't be depending on a single stock to do well. you get ones from different areas and together they almost always go up
Skullbasher62: it may have not been all of their savings, but still, a chunk is a chunk
Skullbasher62: and why are your arguing for it? your supposed to be arguing aginst it
Skullbasher62: http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&safe=off&client=firefox-a&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&q=alternatives+to+privatization&spell=1
Skullbasher62: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Privatization#Arguments_for_and_against
Kim: you understand that when i'm arguing against you it's just to hear the other side. i'm prepping myself for tomorrow
Skullbasher62: yah
Skullbasher62: but
Skullbasher62: go to the second link
Kim: i don't even necessarily agree with myself but it's getting info out of you :)
Skullbasher62: you just use me kim
Kim: hahah
Skullbasher62: i see how it is
Skullbasher62: im just your information whore
Skullbasher62: anyhow
Kim: yep, i use you then abuse you
Skullbasher62: :(
Kim: haha. anyhow what?
Skullbasher62: :'(
Skullbasher62: and if you still used trillian, you'd hear the baby crying!
Skullbasher62: but anyhow
Skullbasher62: second link
Kim: ok
Skullbasher62: has pros and cons
Skullbasher62: and its wikipedia
Skullbasher62: and they are the stuff
Skullbasher62: so why is intelligent design good kim?
Kim: because it is a plausible reason for the creation of the earth. more plausible and explainable than a big bang theory
Skullbasher62: says you
Skullbasher62: i along with the majority of the scientific community believe that
Kim: hey, even nonchristian scientists don't agree with the big bang theory
Kim: you belive that we came from apes? no, even better, little mudsuckers?
Skullbasher62: the proponent's compliance with the Establishment Clause of the US Constitution has the net effect of giving the teaching of creationism immunity from First Amendment challenges by adopting the putatively theologically neutral stance of intelligent design.
Skullbasher62: anything's possible over millions of years
Kim: you did not write that other statement
Skullbasher62: its also a psyedoscience and doesn't comply with falsifiability or occam's razor
Skullbasher62: no, but i agree with it
Kim: well it's hard to understand. my mind can't take the big words
Skullbasher62: its blatantly obvious that its a ploy to get creationism in public schools under the radar by modifying the wording not to name a specific god, only an "intelilgent designer" as "creator"
Skullbasher62: thus complying to the constitution and establishment clause
Kim: well i think everybody knows what intelligent design is. it's just like calling the killing of human babies abortion or giving back money privitization
Kim: what would you call it? christian-taught beginning of the world?
Skullbasher62: its creationism
Kim: so if they called it creationism they would have less of a chance of getting it taught than intelligent design?
Skullbasher62: yes
Kim: i don't think that the name is everything. i think they have to teach possible reasons for where we came from.
Skullbasher62: because creationism is commonly known to refer to a the Judao-Christian "God" where intelligent design names no one god, only an "intelligent designer"
Kim: and does the majority of americans not believe that they were created by an intelligent creator, God?
Skullbasher62: DO the majority of americans
Kim: shut up :)
Skullbasher62: <3
Skullbasher62: i dont know what the majority of american's believe
Skullbasher62: but i know they all dont believe the same thing
Kim: but they generally believe in intelligent design. and i'm pretty sure a christian intelligent design is still the majority
Skullbasher62: lets assume that most people in the us are of some religious denomination, wether its be christianity, judiasm, buddhism, islam, etc
Kim: yes
Skullbasher62: they would generally believe that they were created by a higher being
Kim: yes
Skullbasher62: but they all dont believe in the same higher being
Skullbasher62: therefor
Skullbasher62: just because the christians have a so called "majority" of followers
Skullbasher62: it shouldn't be made publicly endorsed
Skullbasher62: thats favoring one religion over another, violating the establishment clause
Kim: do you really think we have a ton of islams and buddhists? and yes, isn't america about giving the people what they want? and if there are more Christians than others, and they want their beliefs taught in schools, why should they not get what they want
Kim: but you're right about the establishment clause
Kim: i really don't know how to get around that clause
Skullbasher62: exactly
Skullbasher62: and what your saying as far as "give the people what they want"
Skullbasher62: is what absolutely insane
Skullbasher62: its like majoritarian politics to the max
Kim: i say we should not have to be governed by a select few who don't represent the majority in whether we get taught what we want
Kim: i know, it's very majoritarian
Skullbasher62: what you want and what others want for themselves and their children are different kim
Skullbasher62: if you want your kids to have a christian education
Skullbasher62: you must enroll them in a private christian school and pay out the ass for it
Skullbasher62: public schools are for the general public, who have no common views on anything basically
Kim: so we must teach only the plain facts, right? and is evolutionism the plain facts?
Skullbasher62: evolution is they accepted scientific standard
Kim: who's they?
Skullbasher62: its supposed to be "the" but i typoed
Kim: oh i knew that, i meant who's it accepted by?
Skullbasher62: the majority of the scientific community
Kim: how do you konw it's the majority?
Skullbasher62: do you want me to find proof?
Kim: yes
Kim: lol
Skullbasher62: im kickin your ass after this
Kim: haha. but you're my little information whore. i need you.
Skullbasher62: ill information whore you
Kim: haha. no, you're the one giving me all the sites and copy/pastes
Skullbasher62: just because i feel like fighting
Skullbasher62: and im distracting you from your work on your debate, thereby making you look like a fool tomarrow
Skullbasher62: unless amiee saves your ass, which she probably will
Kim: well i'm getting worn out. yes you are distracting me from my work. hey, watch it. i don't need no saving
Kim: what do you mean by that?
Skullbasher62: teehee
Skullbasher62: i love pushing your buttons
Kim: yeah well you know what?
Kim: well i know what too
Kim: just because she has more time than me :)
Skullbasher62: your great fun you know?
Kim: so you're trying to be nice now? is that it?
Skullbasher62: no
Skullbasher62: im just saying i'm having fun with this
Skullbasher62: im trying to tell you i love you damn it!!!!!!!
Skullbasher62: </dramaqueen>
Kim: haha, he falls, and he's conquered, mhahahaha
Skullbasher62: not hardly
Skullbasher62: i learned my lesson last time i got too caught up in someone
Skullbasher62: i think
Kim: who you calling a drama queen?
Skullbasher62: me
Skullbasher62: the
Skullbasher62: im trying to tell you i love you damn it!!!!!!!
Skullbasher62: = dramaqueen
Skullbasher62: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Evolution
Skullbasher62: read it
Skullbasher62: and the side pages too
Skullbasher62: In response to the wide scientific acceptance of the theory of evolution, many religions have formally or informally synthesized the scientific and religious viewpoints.
Skullbasher62: there
Skullbasher62: biach!
Skullbasher62: WIDE SCIENTIFIC ACCEPTANCE
Kim: how do you know this isn't a biased website? after all, you did recommend wikipedia
Kim: :)
Skullbasher62: because anyone can edit wikipedia
Skullbasher62: and there are conservatives who wouldn't stand for it being biased
Kim: you can seriously edit the website? here goes...
Kim: j/k, i don't know how
Skullbasher62: yah
Skullbasher62: you have to be a member
Skullbasher62: and it has to be approved by a board
Skullbasher62: well
Skullbasher62: a pannel
Kim: well then, they just approve liberals
Skullbasher62: whatever
Skullbasher62: u just dont have a defence for my finding
Kim: tehe. i refuse to give up. i don't know enough to say why evolutions wrong, if i was a scientist i could
Kim: a good non-biased scientist
Skullbasher62: yah
Skullbasher62: non biased
Skullbasher62: my ass
Kim: ok, i need to work on my debate closing. no more talking about intelligent design.
Skullbasher62: haha
Kim: yeah well it's because of you if i don't have anything to say tomorrow
Kim: just kidding, you helped
Skullbasher62: you know you love me more than you lothe me deep down
Kim: for now i'm frustrated that you think aimee will outshine me. hmph
Skullbasher62: awwwwwwwwwwwwww
Skullbasher62: poor wittle kim
Skullbasher62: cant take a little teasing
Kim: shut up
Skullbasher62: haha
Skullbasher62: you'll do fine
Skullbasher62: i'm the one who's going to suck it up
Kim: haha, my first instinct was to argue against you right away and say that of course i won't do fine, i'll do horribly. but then i remember that i was arguing the opposite
Skullbasher62: since i just disproved everything i'm supposed to be fighting for
Kim: i just have to argue against you someway or another
Skullbasher62: its how we work
Skullbasher62: you know if i wasn't around you wouldn't have an outlet for your aggression against your mother
Kim: that's true. the vase is still actually intact on the table
Skullbasher62: so im your information whore and y;our punching bag
Kim: but oh so handy
Skullbasher62: lol
Skullbasher62: see, i told ya i was rubbing off on you
Skullbasher62: your more agressive than you were and now need an outlet for it
Skullbasher62: thought i probably instigate most of it anyhow
Kim: you're giving yourself too much credit
Kim: tehe
Skullbasher62: commonnnnnnn
Skullbasher62: i have to give myself some sort of purpose
Skullbasher62: otherwise the slitting of wrists occurs
Kim: whatever. you could find a good purpose if you just went to church :)
Skullbasher62: oh HELL NO
Skullbasher62: you did NOT
Skullbasher62: kim
Skullbasher62: i thought we had the church discussion alredy
Kim: well i didn't know you'd get so offended. you're a mature adult
Skullbasher62: im not offended
Skullbasher62: i just like acting overly offended
Kim: fine, drama queen
Skullbasher62: there are very few ways you could truely offend and hurt me
Kim: okay, kevvy mc kev kev
Skullbasher62: that doesn't work anymore
Skullbasher62: punk
Kim: haha. well i hope never to find your 'offended' side
Skullbasher62: yah
Skullbasher62: hold on
Skullbasher62: http://www.livejournal.com/users/saidimnotmyself/29009.html
Skullbasher62: read
Skullbasher62: that sums up my views of religion somewhat
Skullbasher62: and the (deleted comment) was where "cookiepuss" deleted flames against myself and asugermyer (ahsley, chris' girlfriend)
Skullbasher62: flam = inflamatory post = general putdown
Skullbasher62: i believe she called me a selfloathing douchebag in one of them
Kim: who wrote this? chris?
Skullbasher62: "saidimnotmyself
Skullbasher62: = chris
Skullbasher62: asugarner = ashely, chris' girlfirned
Skullbasher62: Skullbasher62 = me
Skullbasher62: co0kiepuss = christiana cook
Skullbasher62: the deleted post notations were christina's comments
Kim: christina cook? like the freshman?
Skullbasher62: no
Skullbasher62: she graduated lastyear
Kim: oh i know who it is now
Skullbasher62: she's not the nicest person in the world
Skullbasher62: last time i saw her was the last time i saw Devin outta school
Skullbasher62: and also
Skullbasher62: just to piss you off more
Skullbasher62: Evolutionary theory ranks with Einstein's theory of relativity as one of modern science's most robust, generally accepted, thoroughly tested and broadly applicable concepts.
Skullbasher62: http://www.agiweb.org/gap/legis107/evolutionletter_update0801.html
Skullbasher62: source
Skullbasher62: and
Skullbasher62: its not from wikipedia
Skullbasher62: thoughts?
Kim: wow, kevin.
Skullbasher62: ?
Kim: i don't think you've really been through persecution there buddy.
Skullbasher62: what do you call it kim?
Skullbasher62: i've been fucked over countless times by christian's and their religion
Kim: i say that being tortured for believing in christ in china may be a little close to persecution
Skullbasher62: but were not in china
Skullbasher62: and ill agree, thats persecution
Skullbasher62: but there are different levels of persecution
Kim: you've been through some person problems that had to do with their beliefs, but far from being persecuted by a whole religion.
Skullbasher62: ostrization is type of persecution
Kim: you're taking it out on christianity
Kim: you're bitter and refuse to see another side
Skullbasher62: and the other side refuses to se mine
Skullbasher62: i dont care for the other side
Skullbasher62: if others wish to believe in a god, two gods, or two thousand gods, thats fine with me
Skullbasher62: i'd just like to not be harrassed about my choice
Skullbasher62: for example, i dont care if you practice your religion as openly as you want, you could go around and judge people by your religion and keep it to yourself all you bloody want
Kim: i'm not judging you by your religion, i'm just saying that i think you think everybody's judging you by your religion.
Skullbasher62: but as soon as you start telling me i'm being damned to hell for eternity according to you and that im a worthless person because of the choices i've made, ill fight
Skullbasher62: but alot of people do judge by religion. im not specifically singling you out or anything.
Kim: you're not a worthless person, actually i think evolution would teach you that we're worthless people.
Skullbasher62: everyone knows that humans are a worthless plague of destroyers, similar to locusts
Skullbasher62: and if they don't their fools
Kim: we are here for a purpose and it's definitely not to persecute anyone or hurt anyone
Skullbasher62: so you believe
Kim: or to run around being destroyers
Skullbasher62: i dont know why im here
Skullbasher62: i dont know why your here
Skullbasher62: i dont know why anyone is here
Kim: come on kevin, isn't there anything in you that wants to belive that you're here for a purpose?
Skullbasher62: for all i know, your not here, or there
Skullbasher62: your just someone i've figmented in my imagination to argue with
Kim: ok, i think i'm going to bed now, this really could go on forever
Skullbasher62: i'm here to learn. thats why im here
Skullbasher62: to live
Skullbasher62: that is the basic function of life
Skullbasher62: to live
Skullbasher62: and to live you must adapt, to adapt you must learn
Kim: why do you learn then? why do you live? if life was pointless why would people fight to keep babies alive instead of having abortion?
Skullbasher62: because the purpose is to live. that means everything
Skullbasher62: the pupose of a lion is to live, an elephant the same
Kim: my life would be completely different if i wasn't living for a purpose
Kim: just to live isn't enough.
Skullbasher62: if the lion must kill an elephant to live, and the elephant isn't strong enough to defend its life, it dies
Skullbasher62: i have a purpose
Skullbasher62: to live
Kim: we aren't animals
Skullbasher62: how wrong you are
Skullbasher62: we are animals
Skullbasher62: just sophisticated ones
Kim: of course but there's a difference. we have souls and they don't. we have conscionces
Skullbasher62: proove they dont have souls
Skullbasher62: proove we do have souls
Kim: you obviously know by now the most important things can't be proven
Skullbasher62: indeed
Skullbasher62: they can't be disproven either
Skullbasher62: because what is a soul?
Skullbasher62: sure there's the dictionary definition
Skullbasher62: but what really is a soul
Kim: kevin, i don't know. it's obviously not a physical thing but it's the ability to be saved
Skullbasher62: exactly you dont know.
Skullbasher62: you have a book that tells you that your "soul" will be "saved"
Skullbasher62: but what exactly is "saved"
Skullbasher62: and if you dont know what your soul is
Skullbasher62: then how can you tell if its saved?
Kim: if you accept jesus as your savior you can have a peace that you are going to be saved. you have to live it too. tell others. it's not a dictionary definition, you said it yourself. maybe it's slightly different for everybody
Skullbasher62: exactly. its different for everyone. just like religion. you choose to believe, i dont. its a personal choice.
Kim: yes, but can't you see there's a difference between chosing exactly little details about what to believe or whether to believe or not?
Skullbasher62: meaning choosing between different sects of christianity/other religions vs no religion at all?
Kim: yes
Skullbasher62: not especially. to have no religion is a choice with the same weight as having one, or choosing catholicsm over protestantism
Skullbasher62: or christianity over buddhism
Skullbasher62: an throughout this coversation i havn't mentioned the hindus once, so i will now
Kim: i'm really tired kevin, i'll try to catch up where we left off tomorrow.
Skullbasher62: thanks for talkin kim.
Kim: i'm glad you talked
Skullbasher62: this is the kinda stuff i like
Kim: goodnight
Skullbasher62: where im not getting damned
Kim: i'm telling you, you've just had bad experiences, it's not all like that
Skullbasher62: thanks for putting up with me
Skullbasher62: i know its not
Skullbasher62: and maybe in the future i'll try again.
Skullbasher62: maybe ill go to church with you next year
Skullbasher62: i dunno
Kim: you're a sweetheart. but not because you are giving me hope but because you're willing to try new things.
Skullbasher62: i want to learn about stuff
Skullbasher62: i really truely do
Kim: and you're not put down completely because of her or stupid kids in elementary school
Skullbasher62: religion is an extremely interesting topic
Kim: it is. and i wish i knew more
Skullbasher62: i just dont know how to go about learning about it with out biasing it
Kim: ok, good night for real now. i know what you mean
Skullbasher62: i dont think "taking everything with a grain of salt" is going to work with this
Kim: g'night!
Skullbasher62: sweet dreams
Skullbasher62: cya tomarrow
*** "Kim" signed off at Tue May 17 23:55:51 2005.

i must say that is one of the most wonderful conversations that i've had on religion. <3's to Kim for putting up with my shit.

i've been wanting to post a marathon entry for sometime now, but i just can't seem to find the words right now. the photos are flowing forth freely though. i'm extremely happy with my camera. i dont think i could have invested in something more useful and handy. everything in general is going superbly right now except for the debate mentioned above, which i can argue against all bloody day, but can barely argue for to save my life. atleast its interesting.

lastly ill leave you with a picture of Kim, the wonderful girl that i had the conversation with.

01. Reply with your name and I will write something about you.
02. I will then tell what song/movie remind me of you.
03. If I were to apply an o'clock to you, it would be...
04. I will try to name a single word that best describes you.
05. I'll tell you the most memorable moment I've had with you.
06. I will tell you what animal you remind me of.
07. I'll then tell you something that I've always wondered about you.
08. Put this in your journal.

in other news, i've had a chest cold all weekend and i currently feel like my right pectoral is going to explode. hope everyone else has fared better than that.

rough fuckin week... exams, tests, papers, work, concert, theatrical preformance... wicked stuff.

the Underoath, The Chariot, These Arms Are Snakes, and Fear Before the March of Flames concert kicked major ass on wedensday. i lost one of my knives though... it got ripped off while being pushed around in the crowd. the concert kicked ass though. i wasn't crazy about These Arms are Snakes, but the rest of the bands kicked some major ass. The Chariot and Underoath especially. best concert i've been to in a long time, possibly best concert i've ever been too. the crowd was into it, the bands were into it, the energy in the place was amazing.

tuesday i took my AP Calc test... that went alright i guess. im worried about the free response. i know it went a helluva lot better than the SAT 2 Math that i took today. i bombed the hell outta that one. but one more test on wedensday (ap gov't) and my tests will be out of the way and ill just have to worry about spanish.

i've been playing alot lately... just felt the need to get some pent up energy out. i played for hours today after the SAT. i was up in Matthews so i went to guitar center. played a Stingray and drooled over it as usual. played a fretless Cirrus which kicked ass. the neck on that was so nice and smoothe. had a great sound too. i played this sweet schecter that totaly suprised me. it just felt great - nice weight, smoothe neck, played fast... too bad its $500. i guess i'm going to have to break down and upgrade sometime, but i dont have the cash to drop right now. i wish i did. played thru some sweet SWR's today too. the setup i liked most was a 350x, Working Man's 4x10, and working man's 1x15. sounded great. just enough high punch, but still pushed alot of air with the 15. i need to find a band. hopefully, with the college will come a band and a girl. one can hope can't he?

i've decided i drive entirely too much, and the worst part is, i like it. just driving is great fun for me, especially in nice weather. the 4Runner can become unbelieveably open when all the windows including the back and sunroof are down/open.

went to see the production of Oklahoma put on by my school. i liked it. ill have pics up on my photosite soon. maybe. the highlight of the night was seeing Jeremy again. i miss that fucker. he was the only kid at my school who shared the same loathing and hatred of everything that is, was, and will be Parkwood High this year. then he graduated early and went to VA to live with his dad and do scuplting work. he started getting his tattoo finally. wicked ass raven that looks evil. he's getting more also, i can't wait to see the finished product.

catching up on sleep now, im drained from the past week. wedensday (concert) really took it outta me. take care all, and ill leave you with a little challange: come up with at tattoo design featuring a bass cleff. purely voluntary, but all submissions will be appreciated.